One year later.......

Yesterday was a very busy day for all of us. We traveled to Cincy for a Heart Center Family Advisory Board meeting and were able to take dinner to two families in the Colorectal Center. It was a great way to spend the evening and to realize how truly grateful we are that this year WE were the one bringing dinner instead of receiving it.

Last year was a very different experience. One year ago yesterday Kyleigh had her open heart surgery with Dr. Eghtesady in Cincy. One year ago TODAY was the worst day of my life. Plain and simple. February 28th was the day that Kyleigh spent seizing and we held her down for almost 8 hours to keep her from pulling her lines. It was also the day that I changed everything I knew about being a mom to a sick child. I vowed to myself that I would never again allow Kyleigh to hurt like that.. that I would never again be afraid to ask questions or demand attention be given to her. It was one of only a handful of days when I wondered if we would actually bring our daughter home or if we would bury her.

I felt is it was truly appropriate to share the evening with nurses who had taken care of us a year ago and with a group of parents who applauded when we proudly announced that it was the one year anniversary of her surgery. We walked down the same hallways and rode the same elevators that we did last year and we did it with a smile and with many thank in our hearts. One year later we were not scared, or stressed or anything like that. We were very much at peace roaming the halls.

Kyleigh will have her one year checkup with her cardiologist sometime int he next two weeks. She will inevitably have an echo to check up on her repair and I truly hope that everything looks fine. But we will once again hold our breath.

I wasn't emotional about the whole thing yesterday but today its hit me a little harder. Maybe because my heart still remember the pain of that day more than my head... or maybe its because the day after surgery was actually as bad or worse than the surgery day itself. Its only noon and I have already found myself in tears a few times today over nothing... just watching her play and realizing how lucky we are to have her here and "well"...

I promised myself that I would take some pics of Ky today ... I want to send them to her docs and nurses in the CICU so they can see that what they do is truly amazing...